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Letter "F" » FBI
«I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.»
«Just the minute the FBI begins making recommendations on what should be done with its information, it becomes a Gestapo.»
«Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how to get ink off your fingers using seltzer water and lemon juice.»
«[There is] no question that an admission of making false statements to government officials and interfering with the FBI and the CIA is an impeachable offense.»
«If the FBI's motivating factor for busting down the Koresh compound was child abuse, how come we never see Bradley tanks smashing into Catholic churches?»
«Tell the FBI that the kidnappers should pick out a judge that Nixon wants back.»

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