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Letter "G" » George I
«The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.»
«George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.»
«If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.»
«When I was young, I said to God, 'God, tell me the mystery of the universe.' But God answered, 'That knowledge is for me alone.' So I said, 'God, tell me the mystery of the peanut.' Then God said, 'Well George, that's more nearly your size.' And he told me.»
«Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!»
«The sound shivers through the walls, through the table, through the window frame, and into my finger. These distraction-oholics. These focus-ophobics. Old George Orwell got it backward. Big Brother isn't watching. He's singing and dancing. He's pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother's holding your attention every moment you're awake. He's making sure you're always distracted. He's making sure you're fully absorbed... and this being fed, it's worse than being watched. With the world always filling you, no one has to worry about what's in your mind. With everyone's imagination atrophied, no one will ever be a threat to the world.»
«Some people think George is weird, because he has sideburns behind his ears. I think George is weird, because he has false teeth with braces on them.»
«Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?»
«George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.»
«I am only an average man but, by George, I work harder at it than the average man»

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